well it's been a tough week. I miss Will, he was such a sweet heart. Forensic psych will be so boring without him. I'll miss him punching my leg and pinching my arms. I'll miss his stories about his drunken excursions, and his silly attempts to convince me to come party with him like we use to.... sigh...the first time i drank Alzie (wooops can't spell). was with Will. ...oh goodness... the cock blocker incident. For those of u who rememebr that ...god bless ya...and good times good times! I just had so many fun times with that boy. It's so tough to let go and to accept that he is in a better place.
I've been struggling with my faith with this horrible tragedy. Amber helped me with a few things tonight but i still feel the need to explain...
I've been so angry with God these past few days...he took a great guy from all of us. Will had such a large impact on people. God caused so much PAIN and SUFFERING, for Will's family and for his friends. How horrible of a thing to do! If he loves us so much why would he take someone from us so fast without warning. In such a shocking gruesome way?? It disgusts me... I don't want to be angry with God...I love him and I'm thankful for him...but sometimes i just want to know WHY!...Why take someone so young away...he couldn't possibly finished up his purpose already?!
Incidents like this remind me of my mortality...i could die in 10 minutes if God so much as desired. I'm not ready... I wasn't ready for Will to die...neither was anyone else....there are so many things I want to do. So many people to meet...so many things I want to tell people. But if i die...i can't...
If I were to die tonight, i would let so many people down. I won't be given the chance to say sorry to the ones I have upset. Or to tell that special someone I love him. I wouldn't be able to tell my grandpa that I love our talks and love him more than anyone else. I wouldn't be given the chance to graduate college, or have a family. I wouldn't get my black belt in Tang Soo Do. There are so many things...i wouldn't be able to do...
I just have the URGE to stand up and scream...WHY GOD WHY TAKE SOMEONE BEFORE THERE TIME.......WHY?
I would like it to be known that this is the 2nd friend i have lost to a car accident. Justus Arnold Thomas Soanes the 3rd...I MISS U SWEET HEART! I still think of all the fun we use to have. I miss our camping trips and our Wendy's excursions oh and of course the Beanery!...sigh...the beanery was the last place a saw you the night before u died... I miss talking about video games and the simple fun things in life. I MISS U! It feels like ur in Orlando at school...but then i'm reminded u died 2 weeks before u were to start college...a tragedy.......that caused so much pain for me and our group of friends. I rememeber your funeral. Practically our whole Senior class, all of the Wendy's employees and of course your whole family...seeing ur sisters these days still makes my heart weep. Justus my dear I hope your still watching over all of us
...To Will...you better look over us too!
To those who knew Will I feel ur pain...stay strong...and always keep him in your heart. I keep you all in my prayers.
God...please make it easier. Give me strength to get through this tough time. My lord bless William Duclo and keep him by your side. Let each and every one of us rejoice in his name and shed tears of happiness for the life that he led rather than the death that occured. Let each of us find solace with you lord God. I ask you to bless Wills family and his friends Lord I ask you all of this in Jesus' precious name...AMEN
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